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Joke of the Day

"A termite walks into a bar And asks ,"" Is the bar tender here?"

"I typed 18 beers into my calorie counting app, and it uninstalled itself."

"I'd like to buy a bed please. Certainly madam. Spring mattress? Oh no! I want to be able to use it all year."

"How do you find the richest man in Mexico Throw a penny and see who catches it"

"What do free masons do when they want to make a frame-by-frame remake of ""Back to the Future""? They Hire 'Em A Biff!"

"What do you get when you cross a Chicken with Peanut Butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth"

"What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute? Carrion."

"What did people say after two satellite dishes got married? The wedding was dull, but the reception was great."

"Lorax: I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees! They have a crush on you Brad! Trees: What? We did not say that! Tell Brad we didn't say that!"

"I bought a dog from a blacksmith ..... As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door."