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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar with a big slab of asphalt under his arm... He goes to the bartender and says, ""Two beers mate, One for now and one for the road"""

"Did you hear about the suspect who was released from jail after he touched grounded metal and received a static shock? He was cleared of all charges."

"I've decided to get help with my drug habit. I've managed to convince some friends to give me bulk discounts."

"My wife has been in the bathroom for almost 25 minutes. Im basically a single dad now"

"What do you call it when you lease false teeth? A dental rental."

"Why did the raisin go out with a prune? He couldn't get a date!"

"What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ? Where in earth have you been !"

"Why was the tomato red? It saw the salad dressing."

"Girls read smiles And the gap in your teeth spell friendzone"

"What do you call a group of Spaniards in quicksand? Bean dip"