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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a number that cant keep still? A roamin numeral."

"Why do lawyers wear neckties? to keep their foreskins from creeping up."

"I used to brag that my dad worked in the food court. I thought he was a food lawyer. Shoulda wondered why a lawyer would wear a sbarro shirt"

"If a shark attacks you, DO NOT punch him in the nose. Be the bigger person and just ignore him."

"You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching."

"Play on Words I really want to come up with a play on words but I don't know how it will do in front of an audience."

"What's the most romantic pasta? Farfalle. It always gives me butterflies in my stomach."

"If you're stuck in the Friend-zone, here's a simple 5-step solution: 1) Stop. 2) Being. 3) Her. 4) Fcuking. 5) B!tch."

"if anne hathaway doesnt say anne hatharrived every time she walks into a room she's wasting a great opportunity"

"What do you call someone who discriminates against certain groups of rappers? A rapist."