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Joke of the Day

"A set of jumper cables walks into a pub...... And the barman says, ""You can come in here mate but don't start anything! """

"I'm not saying Martha Stewart is old, but... she needs a new Walker more than the Fast and Furious franchise."

"If we had a break up letter there for every gender there was... We'd have ""Dear John"", ""Dear Jane"", and ""Dear Xir, Ruler of Omicron Percei 8"""

"What did Alan Rickman say when he stood over David Bowie's grave? Do you mind if I Slytherin?"

"That old man reminds me of your puppy... They're both probably going to die within 20 years."

"Did you hear about that hole in the wall of the strip club? The police are looking into it."

"What do you call the illegitimate son of a man with a big face? A cheeky bastard."

"""Frequently Asked Questions"" is the most cheerfully passive-aggressive page of any website."

"What's the best time of day? The Spanish Inquisition. . . . . . Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

"5-year-old daughter: Why does Mom wear makeup? Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup."