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Joke of the Day
"Never trust a ""Bernie"" to manage your finances... The last one I knew Madoff with all my money."
Next Joke
"If Chick fil A and Five Guys ever merged... they could call it Five Guys fil a Chick"
"Is toasting with deaf people offensive? Hear hear..."
"My grandpa told me that ""your generation relies too much on technology."" I responded with, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."
"An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true."
"Q: How does a blind skydiver know the ground is near? A: The leash goes slack."
"""People will believe anything if you whisper it."""
"""But... I can fix us!"" the rocket scientist sobbed, as his wife picked up her suitcase. ""Jim,"" she whispered. ""This isn't rocket science."""
"Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!"
"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me... ...to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."