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Joke of the Day

"Difference between a gay guy and a microwave? A microwave won't brown your meat."

"What do you call houses who have good behavior? Manors."

"I'd run a marathon but I don't know if I can handle the commitment. I mean a lifetime of telling every person you meet you ran a marathon?"

"What do you get when you cross Tesla and Thomas Edison? A Kick-ass band"

"I like to think that every time I press the dislike button, Pandora sends an email to the artist. Take that, Beethoven!"

"Trying to figure out if you practice the violin for many hours every day, or if you just have a really bad hickey."

"What's dirtier then fingering your sister? Finding your dad's wedding ring."

"What did one mushroom say to the other as he passed him on the street? Porta-hello"

"Your ex is posting passive-aggressive spiritual memes again"

"Did you hear the one about the church that burned down? Holy Smokes!"