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Joke of the Day

"I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging. Took me ages to get her husband's voice right."

"I'm a virgin but I have sex sometimes"

"What's the difference between the England football team and a teabag? The teabag stays longer in the cup."

"Think having your kid hear you having sex is the worst? NOPE! Having your kid run into the room with a light saber to save you...MUCH WORSE!"

"*zip-lines through your living room window* *shakes off the broken glass* YO! DO YOU LIKE BRAD PITT BETTER WITH SHORT OR LONG HAIR!?"

"What do you call a train that eats too much? A chew-chew train"

"A man walks into a bar. Now he watches where he's going."

"Don't you get it man? Every single person who has discovered the identity of who let the dogs out has been brutally murdered."

"ME: ""I don't want sex tonight"" GIRLFRIEND: ""ok"" Reverse phycology doesn't work on women."

"How do you solve world hunger and poverty simultaneously? By feeding the poor to the hungry."