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Joke of the Day
"me *walks into house* wife: Where are the kids? me *turns around and goes back out*"
Next Joke
"Millennial Moses: Just, let my people go or whatev- hang on I'm getting a text."
"How do you stop a dog who's humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."
"What do girls fear that's big, scary, and pink? The Alaskan Bull Worm."
"People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life."
"Does anyone want a vacuum cleaner? Mine's just gathering dust."
"sick of bullshit dui checkpoint profiling just because i'm a white male with the jagermeister logo emblazoned across his truck windshield"
"Calling your girlfriend Dumbledore.. ..cause she's the real head master"
"If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it probably can't pay its student loans."
"What is potential energy's favourite season? Summer, because it comes before fall"