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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the lake birds get along? Because they were SWAN enemies."

"I did really well in my math class My professor said I was on the top of the bell curve."

"What did the cannibal get when he showed up late to the luncheon? The cold shoulder."

"Teach a fish to catch a MAN, and you've got a blockbuster horror movie idea under your belt."

"Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it's ok to bite an opponent."

"The forest animals are about to rip me apart but suddenly they back off. Hillary Clinton emerges from the trees. The animals bow their heads"

"Short rabbi joke As I'm walking with a rabi I ask him, Me: so do you charge a lot for you circumcisions? Rabbi: no I just keep the tips"

"Pregnant women go through a ""nesting"" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed."

"Ladies, as you enter this day, remember that one chubby arm photo is going to cancel out the thirty you carefully took of your collar bone."

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard"