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Joke of the Day
"Terrorists in Hawaii be like.. ..Aloha Akbar."
Next Joke
"Nothing beats a beautiful girl with a great singing voice! Except Chris Brown"
"My dog always walked backwards... So I named him god."
"[my son threatens to run away after I take away his iPad] ""Here $60. It's all I have. Call if you need more."""
"Me: Mum was I adopted? Mum: Yes, but they gave you back"
"Went bass fishing the other day Caught a subwoofer this big!"
"Baby showers are so weird. It's like ""hey, congrats on having a functional reproductive system""."
"How strange... Last night my flatmate only popped out for milk wearing no make up and instead came back with 4 packets of Haribo, 4 fun size Snickers and a 'Best Costume' trophy."
"My wife tied me up before sex last night She then rolled over and went to sleep."
"Just went sledding for the first time I liked it until I got on the sled. It was all down hill from there."