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Joke of the Day

"Went bass fishing the other day Caught a subwoofer this big!"

"Driver "" I'm very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver "" said the friend to the old man. "" oh, don't worry, I can drive """

"What is the one thing you don't give to a Jewish kindergartner? A gold star."

"I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, ""It's not working. I cant take it anymore, I'm going to moms"" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?"

"Jared Fogle will feel a sense of familiarity in jail. Even inside jail, he'll be enjoying fresh meat."

"Hey all Hot Girls. I'm starting to think that all your phone numbers don't start with a 555-"

"I got a case of beer for my wife! It was a good trade!"

"My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing. Apparently, ""Heating your dinner"" wasn't a good answer."

"Hate it when people ask me what I will be doing five years from now Come on guys, I don't have 2020 vision"