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Joke of the Day
"Me: Mum was I adopted? Mum: Yes, but they gave you back"
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"Two parrots sat on a perch one turns to the other and asks, 'Can you smell fish?'"
"What did one bird say to the other bird when he played five aces in a poker game? Cheat, cheat, cheat."
"How do you piss off a redditor? This GOD-DAMN joke has been reposted SO many times, and its not even clever in the first place!!! Im super serial guys, knock it off."
"*walks out into irradiated air using an antique porcelain teacup as a gas mask* *dies instantly, but with a touch of class*"
"Heck. Where you're darned to if you don't believe in Gosh."
"First Date: ""So, tell me something no one else knows about you."" Well, my wife thinks I'm at the movies and you think I'm single."
"<------Flair My penis is, -Yoda"
"New Neighbor: Hi, I'm Derek; I moved in downstairs. Me: I'm Spencer; I'll be looking in your window and judging your decorating choices."
"What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? Third Grade!"