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Joke of the Day

"doctor looking at his iPad: oh no, this isn't good ... Me: give it to me straight doc what is it doctor: well, I forgot my wifi password"

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"""Nothing rhymes with orange"" No it doesn't."
"What's the difference between oooo and aaaa? about 3 inches"
"""Let's get this show on the road."" ~ Guy who invented parades"
"One thing that Trump's supporters love most about him is his authenticity... Unfortunately, he also embodies the most dangerous example of inauthenticity: the combover."
"How did they cure the swine flu? With oinkment."
"Why are thousands of kittens dying everyday? For some sick, strange reason, men enjoy smashing pussy."
"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. Because they always take things literally."
"How do you make a baker cry? Kill his family"
"Rumour has it Eminem has converted to Islam. From now on, he will call himself ""Muslim Shady."""