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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by mixing up my wives subway orders. I gave Lucy's to Rosa, and Rosa's to Lucy."

"What is the difference between a blonde in a church and a blonde in the bath tub? One has hope in her soul..."

"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."

"Oldie but a goodie Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa."

"A man walk into a doctors room with a frog hanging out of his ear. ""What on Earth happened?"" The doctor said, surprised. ""I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse."" the frog said."

"What do you call bacteria that can swim fast? Micro Phelps."

"I was casually playing while my teammate wrote ""I fucked your mom last night"" I replied ""no you didn't"" Then my dad ran into my room and told me that he indeed did."

"What do you call an Elf that sings? A wrapper! Merry Christmas. I hope you got what you wished for. ( )"

"""Asphyxiate' would be worth like a million points..."" I thought to myself as I lay choking on a Scrabble tile."

"What did Helen Keller call her dog? <smashes keyboard>"