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Joke of the Day

"Oldie but a goodie Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa."

"I can totally keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't."

"What do you call a thick wire made of phone batteries? Likable"

"Prostitutes are like cigarettes. As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. When you start getting older, you think, ""why not just once?"". Soon enough, you're addicted. And broke."

"Hey Reddit, What are your favorite jokes?"

"""How much are these glasses?"" ""$150 sir"" ""I guess you could say"" *puts on sunglasses* *runs out without another word*"

"The best joke that I have ever heard :) And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you will receive eternal life"" But John came fifth, and won a toaster"

"I don't get why I have to wash my hands after masterbating. It's not like my dick's been anywhere. Edit: yeah I suck at spelling. And it's supposed to mean I never have sex"

"In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth."

"What do you call an international criminal waffle that you dropped at the beach? Carmen Sandy Eggo"