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Joke of the Day

"Russian shit Parent calls up to child: Quit stalling in the bathroom! Child calls back: I'm not Stalin, I'm Putin!"

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? (Gagging noise) My all time favorite joke."

"Why is Tigger so dirty? Because he plays with Pooh"

"How to fall down the stairs Step 1. Step 2. Step 5. Step 8. Step 13. Step 17."

"Where do all the bad hamburger buns live? In the seedy part of town"

"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other one's a fish."

"What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman? He just wants her to be down to Mars"

"Why is it difficult to punish vampires? They can't reflect on what they've done."

"TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration."

"*gets pulled over* Do you know how fast you were going? *pulls string* *inflates emergency mustache* Oh sorry officer. You're free to go."