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Joke of the Day

"These fall allergies are on me like the NYPD 'Cause I can't breathe."

"What's the fastest way to lose weight? Puking and shitting at the same time."

"Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room ? A: They never know when to come in."

"3 men, hard of hearing: ""Its Windy out, isn't it?"" ""No, it's Thursday"", responds the second; to which the third replies ""Me too, let's go grab a beer""."

"If vampires have no reflection, how come they have such neat hair?"

"Why can not Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black."

"What's a clown's favorite restaurant? (mod post from r/AntiJokes) I wouldn't know, as a mime I cannot comment."

"What animal is two animals at the same time? The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait."

"Where does monty python buy his water? From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally."

"Why didn't crab and lobster like to share? They were both two shellfish"