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Joke of the Day
"How many white people can you fit in a can? Crackers don't come in cans, they come in boxes!"
Next Joke
"I hate when people say ""women should stay in the kitchen"" ...how are they supposed to clean the rest of the house?"
"Sorry it took me 10 months to text you back. I'm a snake now and I typed this with my head."
"Just accidentally threw an 'xo' in a text to a dude. Guess I have to fuck him now."
"[1st date] HER: do you like charades? MIME: [thumbs up] HER: well? MIME: [nodding 'yes'] HER: hello? MIME: [shooting self with finger gun]"
"Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry, I'm onto your marketing scam... #EasterBaskets"
"A farmer plants a field of dildos. What does he get? Squatters."
"Maybe snakes are always angry cause they don't have arms to hug with :("
"What is the difference between Donald Trump and Chris Christie? When things go south,Trump burns bridges, Christie just shuts them down."
"My boss noticed I shaved before coming in to the office today then he told me if i wanted to keep my job I would have to start keeping my pants on"