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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you trick unemployed jesters? Because they're nobody's fool"

"""They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. That ends today!"" -- me as I rally lunches everywhere to overthrow their oppressors"

"I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive, ""Hi""."

"While sitting on the couch my wife said ""I feel like putting on a pair of flip-flops."" Then she changed the channel to the presidential debate."

"To the handicapped guy that took my bag! ( ) You can hide but you can't run!"

"The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest."

"Got a tattoo of a digital watch on my wrist. I regretted it literally one minute later."

"Listening to coworkers try and explain Fight Club to another coworker and all I could think was ""we really shouldn't be talking about this""."

"I went to the barber before I had my SAT yesterday it really helped me clear my head"

"Being a racist zebra seems difficult."