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Joke of the Day
"Dear person who just turned in your resume with no name or phone number. You didn't get the job."
Next Joke
"What is a duck's favorite drug? Quack."
"What sound was made when a water truck collided with a vinegar truck? DOUCHE!!!"
"Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook not everyone wants to see you happy."
"How do you call it when a blond girl dyes her hair brunette? Artificial Intelligence."
"They're playing Earth, Wind and Fire. I was not prepared to party this hard at Home Depot."
"What do you call two black people bargaining on terms? A Negrotiation"
"I'll push a loaded grocery cart around for 45 minutes -- but I WILL NOT spend 5 seconds pushing an empty one back to the return area!"
"[voice recognition in car] Car: ""please say a command"" Me: ""call Tim"" Car: ""calling Sarah Marcogliese"""
"What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica? ""X marks the pot, matey."""