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Joke of the Day
"My phone won't let me be depressed. It autocorrected :( to :)"
Next Joke
"It costs $6 to visit Karl Marx's grave. Google it."
"Sorry I said ""nice phone"" when you showed me a photo of your baby."
"Husband sat in his room throwing darts.... at his wife's photo but not even a single one hit the target. From another room the wife asks the husband : ""What are you doing?"" . Husband: ""MISSING YOU""."
"Why are waste facility managers so successful? Because they're always on top of their shit!"
"A pumpkin-shaped woman should never wear a bright orange top and a brown beret unless she wants to make my whole fucking day."
"Modern art is easy to understand. If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance."
"Why did the NSA spy on Germany ? Because after meeting with Merkel, they heard Obama say ""I'd tap that""."
"[dog bites my arm off] owner: lol don't worry he's just playing"
"Difference between a cow and Russia They both contain Putin..."