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Joke of the Day

"Sorry Im late, I saw that Spongebob episode where he's a lifeguard but cant swim, even though they live underwater & now my brain is leaking"

"Why do men run faster than women rolling friction is lesser than sliding friction"

"A woman told me I seem like I ""need a blowjob,"" which has all the insight of a psychic telling a crowd ""someone here has lost a loved one."""

"""I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat"" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook."

"I was asked to babysit once but it didn't go very well. You're not meant to sit on them."

"I met my SO while working for a German newspaper It was love at first Zeit"

"Turn off autocorrect? Challinje aceptid."

"Doctors have discovered a new strain of ebola in Israel They have appropriately named it Heebola."

"I am schizophrenic, AUA"

"Life as a penis must be hard."