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Joke of the Day

"A man asked for directions to the guillotine festival... It's just ahead."

"Hit me baby, one more time. Chris Brown should date Britney Spears."

"I used to date an electrician but we had to break up... There was just no spark."

"What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves? Russell."

"So, to re-cap... ...I put the top back on my pen."

"The best part about owning a pet. You can blame your dog for farting, you can blame your cat for things falling over at night, and you can blame your goldfish for the screaming in the basement."

"What do you call a hooker in Alaska? Frostitute"

"I am not paying for a full year membership at the Y when I only need the pool long enough to hold one hamster Viking funeral."

"A GoFundMe, so I can buy an avocado."

"If a giant talking rabbit were trying to steal my cereal, I'd probably be too busy screaming and stabbing to call him ""silly."""