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Joke of the Day
"What do an anorexic person and Sonic the Hedgehog have in common? They both gotta go fast."
Next Joke
"I just did an alignment on my car... But my car still pulls into crowds :("
"WIFE: *motions to me that she's choking* ME: *immediately dials 911* 911: what the emergency ME: *handing her the phone* here u talk to them"
"'Cracker' is racist. They should be called Crispy Baked Squares."
"Why is it difficult to find the clitoris? Because you have to go through a labiarinth."
"I'm optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket."
"I shadowed an opthamolologic surgeon today. The experience was really eye opening."
"Beer makes you stupid.... Budweiser too."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay strip club Knock! Knock! *who's there?* The chicken."
"My girlfriend got so mad she battered me with some vegetables. She has a terrible tempura."