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Joke of the Day

"Two Muslims are on a frozen lake not talking to each other... I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"A man in Phoenix accidentally shot himself in the leg while in line at Walmart on Saturday. Or, as they call that in Arizona, ""taking a selfie."""

"Did you hear about the new Yiddish martial art... that involves rapid spasms and filing legal action against your opponent? Jew-fit-sue is taking off in a big way"

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"Let's ask the Ouija board a question. Is my wife's meatloaf good? *pointer moves to NO* You see, Debra? No I did not move it myself"

"Donald Trump has been making headlines, ""Trump Taps Secretaries."" by grabbing Generals. He's come a long way from grabbing privates."

"Q: What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill while wearing sunglasses? A: Nothing. He did not recognize them."

"why isn't there an app called enablr that allows you to crowdfund your bar tab"

"[boss's office] BOSS: Do you like my fire place? ME: Actually, it's one word: ""fireplace"" BOSS: You're fired ME: Oh, I get it now"

"Dear girls that go tanning, it's called 'sunkissed', it's not called 'dorito raped'."