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Joke of the Day

"Women find me ugly till I tell them I make millions of dollars... What I don't mention is that I am talking about Zimbabwe dollars!"

"I call my dick Ambidextrous Because I fuck girls left and right."

"The Tsunami in Japan Everybody knows that the reason for the tsunami in Japan was because Magikarp was using splash all the time."

"How do you hold an umbrella for a feminist without offending said feminist? She doesn't need one. The glass ceiling keeps her dry."

"Why is all the racism in America downstairs? That's where we keep them chained up."

"Why do hot girls always go for assholes? I don't even like pegging."

"I found the worlds worst thesaurus. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible."

"Old lady says to his hubby... ""My nipples are as hot today as they was 50 years ago"" Hubby replies,""Oughtta be. One's in your coffee the other's in your porridge."""

"After years of hard work and dedication, I can finally say that I have that sexy body I've always wanted. It's in my freezer."

"Rum: ""Drink me."" Me: ""No, I'll get a hangover."" Rum: ""Nah, you'll get funnier and better looking!"" Me: ""Really?"" *drinks* Rum: ""Sucker."""