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Joke of the Day
"According to my Ex, we only had 2 problems: 1. Me. 2. Not her."
Next Joke
"Chuck Norris don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own."
"She told me she'd do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed."
"All the dads with weekend custody are crowding up the donut shop."
"Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? because i'm not going to pay you"
"What a weekend...trying to get the courage to look at my credit card statement from last night."
"Breaking news: A helicopter has crash landed into a cemetery in Ireland The pilots didn't survive, and so far local police have recovered 956 bodies."
"I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house."
"Me: *sneezes* Mom: Remember February 17, 2009 when I told you to bring a jacket?"
"Most people see a ""pregnant mom"" planned parenthood sees a ""parts store."""