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Joke of the Day

"thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 min before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon"

"What did the teddy bear say after dinner? ""I'm stuffed."""

"Why was the liquor trader arrested? Because he was in cider trading"

"My money is on MySpace to take the Gold in the Downhill Competition."

"Why did Mufasa die? Because he didn't Mufasa-nuff."

"On Gun Control Yesterday I Called The Fire Arms, Tobacco, Alcohol And Asked The Agent What Fully Automatic Weapon Goes With A Shot Of Burbon. Sean O' Talk Show Host SOS Computer Talk"

"Life sucks, I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I don't know what he looks like."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander? Mick Jagger sings, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud . . "", while the Scottish Highlander yells, ""Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"""

"How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? Play the piano until you find the right key."

"Why cant Helen Keller drive a car? ..Because she's dead."