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Joke of the Day
"What I if told you... ... you read the first line wrong?"
Next Joke
"Someone rang me up today and tried to sell me a coffin. I said that's the last thing I need."
"Did you read the news about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!"
"After reviewing my life, God may very well issue another 5 to 10 commandments. Sorry, guys."
"[1st day as judge] Murderer: [waves at me] Me [waves back]: He seems nice Lawyer: He killed six people Me: He probably didn't mean it"
"CW: It's 11:11 make a wish. Me: I wish I could throw a clock at your face."
"My business is awkward smiles and poorly executed high-fives, and business is good."
"I follow back all spambots. I even star some of their tweets, because I'm looking for a spot in middle management when the robots take over."
"Why won't the machines just take over already? I'm tired of doing stuff."
"""Old Macdonald had a farm. Had."" -banks"