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Joke of the Day
"I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance. Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms."
Next Joke
"Life is like a shit sandwich... The more bread you have the less shit you have to eat."
"I'm 5'3. I may be short but I have a HUGE personality....disorder."
"I told the cashier that her eyebrows were drawn too high I guess she didn't realize because she seemed pretty surprised."
"What do you say when you find two banana peels together? Answer: A pair of slipper"
"why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat-belt. Stay safe tonight everyone!"
"A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He sits down and orders a drink."
"Why didn't Oscar Pistorius get a new bathroom door? Because his wife was dead-set against it..."
"First line in frozen pizza instructions: DO NOT EAT FROZEN PIZZA W/OUT COOKING. It's almost like they know I'm the target demographic."
"Friendship. (A bit of a dark humour) Friend: I need to save money... Me: Get a life vest Me: And some rope. Friend: Why do I need the life vest? Me: If you have to ask, you might not need one."