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Joke of the Day

"I let a Jehova's Witness inside the other day and asked him, ""what now?""... He replied, ""I'm not sure, I've never gotten this far before"""

"Why was the black man arrested? Good question."

"Ask me why I'm bad at telling jokes - ""why are you bad at telling jokes?"" - ...oh wait. Shit! ughh ... I fucked it up."

"People always ask 'how do you cope with erectile disfunction'? Honestly, it's not that hard"

"Whoever said ""only the good die young"" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class."

"[bar trivia night] and remember no using your phones unless it's an emergency me: [five minutes later] hello 911? are butterflies insects?"

"Did you know that Matthew Broderick was the first Iron Man in the movies? He was Ferrous Bueller."

"Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock."

"What does Santa and his elves listen to in their Christmas workshop? WRAP MUSIC!"

"Did you hear about the blonde who froze to death at the drive in theater? She went to see Closed for the winter."