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Joke of the Day

"I let a Jehova's Witness inside the other day and asked him, ""what now?""... He replied, ""I'm not sure, I've never gotten this far before"""

"What do you call an octopus that's missing one tentacle? Octopus Prime."

"my glass eye is freaking you out? sorry I didn't real eyes."

"[Truth or Dare] Her: What's your biggest secret? Salazar Slytherin: *sweating* No secrets here haha. Definitely not a chamber full of 'em"

"[SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Tim, your word is ""Oak"" TIM: [deep breath] Ok *BUZZER* T: What th J: So close! It's O-'A'-K T: But... J: Hard luck, kid"

"My Friend is 5'8""... Some people would say he's tall, but I think he's just high."

"I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down."

"Need some adultish-humor. I have a girl I like, and I want to make her laugh. What are the best jokes you guys can think of to make a dirty-minded teenage girl laugh?"

"Judging by your selfie, I can't help wonder why your mother didn't try & sell you to a circus when you were younger."

"What kind of shoes do pedophiles wear? White Vans"