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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Jewish guys give oral sex? It's too close to the gas chamber."

"What did the Ukrainian say to the whiny American? Crimea River."

"If it's true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff."

"If my doctor ever tells me I have three months to live, I'll probably pick December, January and July."

"[Starbucks Assassins Inc] CHIEF: Write this down. Target's name is John BARISTA: [writes] Jamie C: Ok. Memorise it B: [eyes shut] Janet"

"Just checked into hotel in Miami. They have a separate pool for redheaded people. I thought we were past this."

"Why is Santa's sack so large? Because he only comes once a year."

"I used to think i was indecisive... but now I'm not so sure"

"Personally, I don't believe in ""bros before hoes"" or ""hoes before bros"" There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis if you will."

"You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.. But hey.. That's just Hawaii roll."