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Joke of the Day

"Personally, I don't believe in ""bros before hoes"" or ""hoes before bros"" There needs to be a balance. A homie-hoe-stasis if you will."

"So you know how you don't dream when you smoke weed? What if MLK smoked?"

"What made Tesla successful ? Its musk"

"How do you know when your dad just got a blowjob? You can taste it in your sister's mouth....."

"If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, Would you go to lunch or read the paper?"

"I heard a crazy train engineer in Mexico killed a bunch of people last week. Yeah. He had a loco motive."

"What goes up slowly and comes down quickly ? An elephant in a lift !"

"What did the liberal say to the chicken? Nothing. He's dead. He was shot and killed in a home invasion and did not have any guns to defend himself. Sarah Palin 2016"

"What did JayZ say to the theoretical mathematician? I feel sorry for you son, I got 99 problems but you got imaginary ones"

"Me: Be back after lunch! Boss: OK Me: *texts boss APRIL FOOLS LOL* *goes home, turns on baseball*"