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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I have a bad day,,, I just remind myself that there are people out there who have their ex's name tattooed on their body"

"Feminists hate me. Probabily because I am wearing my wife beater."

"First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?"

"According to the bank clerk, the robber was most likely to be a redditor... ...He seems to have screamed ""Thanks for the gold, kind strangers!"" as he ran away with the money."

"(If you can't guess the obvious punch line, be warned its messed up) ....What's the best part of having sex with twentynine year olds!?... There's 20 of them"

"I guess hookers are getting into the holiday spirit. I seen one today advertising pumpkin spice pussy."

"Where does beef come from? Cowschwitz."

"How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in his ears."

"I'm going to get some hate here. Is methodist a religion that worships meth?"

"If anyone needs me, I'll be at the hospital leaving robots and newspapers from the year 2310 in the rooms of coma patients."