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Joke of the Day

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store and says ""get some bread, and while you're there pick up some eggs."" The programmer never returns."

"I want to be a brick layer, I'm shittin bricks left and right.haha"

"What do you call a person with normal abs in a universe full of fat people Abnormal"

"Yo mamma so stupid when she heard of ""orange is the new black"" she thought Donald Trump became the president."

"Girl: I want bangs Me: I want a stylist to get my hair as close to antlers as possible. Make me look like a young prince of the wooded glen"

"Did you hear that the Apple CEO announced he was gay? The next day the Samsung CEO also announced he was gay and waterproof."

"How are women like rocks? You skip the flat ones."

"Starbucks should have a separate line for people who don't know what they want or how the world works."

"I think i'm spending too much time around my gf's family. I mean, her husband's going to notice sooner or later."

"I hate this place, as soon as I find my clothes, I am leaving."