16286

Joke of the Day

"Tried to leave a voicemail for my mom but she picked up. I was forced to drop my phone into my purse and shake it around for 10 minutes"

"four years ago I asked out the woman of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me!!! She said no both times."

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer once... I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day."

"A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window."

"Hey Reddit, Guess What? Chicken Butt..."

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"I read in the paper about a hooker starting her own business.... They said that she had a good soft-opening."

"There's no recipe in this world that raisins can't ruin."

"What Do Nuns Call Air Conditioning In A Prison? A convent!"

"What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEYYYYYEEEEE!!!!!"