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Joke of the Day

"If guys were smart they would forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls buying frozen dinners and cat food."

"What is the highest form of flattery? A plateau"

"A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied ''What for? Are you going to set it on fire!''"

"What are eukaryotes' least favorite subject in school? Algaebra..."

"Michael Jackson loves the holiday season It starts with Black Friday, and it ends with a White Christmas. I'll show myself out."

"Q: What is the best thing that ever came out of Arkansas? A: Highway 55."

"Jokes about German sausages... ...are the Wurst"

"What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen? Charlie Sheen's winning."

"As a man, I bleed once a month too. When I floss."

"Me: Just so you know, I'm DTF right now. Wife: I don't know what ""DTF"" means. Me: Take a guess. Wife: (pause) Definitely Too Fat?"