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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches."
Next Joke
"[think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]"
"What does Tim Cook do when he's home alone at night? Jack off"
"What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck"
"If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?"
"Whats the best thing about dating Nicki Minaj? She won't fall in the toilet if you leave the seat up."
"(Grandpa joke) If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay? Bagels. I'll be here all night, people!"
"If approached by a bear, you can play dead, or you can acknowledge the bear, say hello, and see what it needs. Have some decency"
"[phone rings in 1984] ""Eric get the phone"" Hello? ""Tell em I'm not home."" She's not home. ""Ask who it is."" My mom wants to know who this is."
"What is the difference between Jelly and Jam? You can't jelly your cock down your girlfriend's throat."