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Joke of the Day

"What's all natural, well balanced, and comes in pints? An elephant sitting on your fence masturbating."

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt."

"Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete falls out. Who is left? Repeat. Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Pete falls out. Who is left?"

"What's the difference between boy scouts and Jews? Boy scouts come back from camp."

"I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall. I thought of having them. Nails always come in handy."

"Hillary's So Crooked.... Hillary's So Crooked She Needs A Kaine!"

"Commas are the coolest punctuation, because they're like ""Yeah, you haven't got time to stop, but you can chill for a little bit."""

"I know a really good reverend Jim Jones joke. I'd tell it, but the punch line is too long."

"If you're not part of the solution... ... you are part of precipitate."

"Scientists have found the cause of paedophilia. Sexy children."