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Joke of the Day

"School says strangers are handing out lick on LSD tattoos. I told my kids not to worry, no one is giving out good shit like that for free"

"whats the hardest thing about walking through a field of dead babies? my dick"

"After my doctor performed my prostate exam he left the room... Soon my nurse walked in and with a puzzled look asked, ""Who was that?"""

"How can you tell if a man has a high sperm count? The girl has to chew before she swallows."

"There's nothing more annoying than someone trying to live by their values"

"Cemetery A priest goes for a walk in the cemetery before breakfast and sees a man crouching by a tombstone. The priest says to the man ""Morning!"" He replies ""No actually, I'm taking a shit!"""

"What is a sure way to pleasure 9 out of 10 people? Gang rape."

"What did the bull say to the green eyed cow? I can't get pasteurize."

"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and a catfish? One's a scum sucking bottom feeder. The other's a catfish."

"After decades of study, scientists finally decode whale song. ""Moo. Moo. Moooooooooo. Moo."""