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Joke of the Day

"I was going to get a face-lift but I thought about my health and went for face-stairs instead"

"Women know that men are like linoleum . . . If they lay 'em right the first time, they can walk on them for years."

"This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she's never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf."

"I'll follow my girlfriend into the bathroom watch her close the toilet door, and then ask, ""What are you doing?"""

"I bet Sherlock Holmes rocked the shit out of elementary school."

"Why did the computer scientist die in the shower? The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop."

"What's the difference between a banana and a bann? A bann grows on vines. I'll show myself out........"

"Why is it called PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."

"My 8 told me he likes Skillrex because it sounds like what Transformers would sound like if they quit saving the world and formed a band."

"I was told I needed to do some soul searching... so I Googled James Brown."