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Joke of the Day

"What makes an octopus laugh? ten-tickles"

Next Joke
 
"5 y.o.: Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby? Me: I helped 5: How? Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions"
"I heard that #TheDress debate has already destroyed 18 relationships. These people probably shouldn't be breeding anyway."
"What happens when an egg laughs? He cracks up"
"Why do teenage girls travel in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even"
"All firemen must dread the moment when they're done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole."
"Whenever I call my husband to wash the dishes, I am reminded what a great lover he is. He never comes quickly."
"I tried to give myself a sex change operation but I couldn't pull it off."
"Ask me if I'm a snail! No. This joke works much better if you say it to the other person like they're an idiot for asking."
"Accidentally left creatine out on the counter overnight and there's a bigass 3"" tall ant in my kitchen calling me bro now... scared to go in"