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Joke of the Day

"All carpentry tool names were created by someone in desperate need of sex."

"The best kind of love is experienced when the person who touches your ass also touches your heart."

"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Clown ! Clown who ? Clown for the count !"

"I'm not really a fan of Apple products. Mostly because I'm a bigger fan of not being broke."

"You know what they say: Finding the right analogy is has hard as hmm..."

"What do you get when you kiss a sick bird? Cherpies."

"*Reads your tweets, vomits into a bucket, mails bucket to you*- see what you made me do?"

"Condoms... Are for pussies."

"Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible."