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Joke of the Day
"""May your old acquaintances be forgotten and never brought to mind."" -Sir Smirnoff"
Next Joke
"I bought some new ""London Bridge Jeans"" They keep falling down."
"An Englishmen, a Scotsman and a Irishman went to a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go."
"Fireworks? Yes it does."
"Just discovered that I'm willing to drive 35mph over the speed limit to prevent a PT Cruiser from passing me."
"If you stop at a yellow light I'm going to assume you have something illegal in your car."
"Speech Joke. Why shouldn't you eye-fuck someone? Because there is a chance you will get visual aids."
"Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would've been if he'd eaten fresh spinach instead of canned."
"How do most women like their eggs? Ovarie-z"
"Cows are vegetarians too, but you won't hear them bragging about it on Twitter."