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Joke of the Day

"Cows are vegetarians too, but you won't hear them bragging about it on Twitter."

"if theres 'national public radio'? (npr) is there also 'private public schools'?"

"I finally have enough money in my retirement account for the rest of my life. If I die on Tuesday."

"I suggested a threesome to my girlfriend. ""That's fine,"" she said, ""Just not with another girl."" ""OK then, I'll call up James and Daniel."" I replied."

"Stripper joke (NSFW?) A man walks into a strip club and immediately gets some action from a stripper. He walks out, satisfied, and says, ""Wow, what great cervix!"""

"Nothing screams passive agressive quite like letting your spouse sleep in, while also letting the kids play loudly outside the bedroom door"

"Why was the pianist so depressed? Because they weren't good at Chopin."

"What's a French person's favorite video game system? The Wii! (Oui)"

"Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, obsessive compulsive butcher? He used to lay in bed at night worrying about why he constantly weighed a steak."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender"