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Joke of the Day

"What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common? They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)"

"Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line) Enough to break the ice, how's it going?"

"Eating a Clock I tried eating a clock once, I wouldn't do it again. It was very time consuming."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from jail? Headline read: Small Medium at Large"

"How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7"

"I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex. She asked if I was serious. I told her, ""Nah, I'm just fucking with you."""

"What service do you get if you sleep in a bakery? Bread and Bakedfast!"

"Trying nofap for just 7 days... ... and it already gets really hard."

"A drunk throws up on a dog.. And say.. ""Jesus I don't remember eating that !"""

"A joke the owner of the pizzeria I work at told me while listening to Beethoven. Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? Because it wouldn't stop saying ""Bach, Bach, Bach."""