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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob"

"""That chicken died for you"" - how I get my kids to eat chicken"

"[on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim"

"NASA launches bovines into space It was the herd shot round the world!"

"How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food? By giving her a Brazilian wax first!"

"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just letter nipples."

"If you're American going into the bathroom and American coming out of the bathroom... What are you in the bathroom? European"

"I was wondering when the sun would come up... and then it dawned on me."

"Mom, why am I black? - Mom, why are you, dad and everyone else in the family white, and I'm black? - The party was so crazy you should be happy you don't bark."

"What prophylactic did the black person rip open while having sex? The doctor's vaginer."