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Joke of the Day

"What prophylactic did the black person rip open while having sex? The doctor's vaginer."

"Ryan Seacrest and Ellen Degeneres are the same person. #fact"

"Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too."

"Ever worry that spiders have 8 slippers to slap you with?"

"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."

"The driver & Police Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"Young woman... There was a young lady from Exeter, So lovely the men all craned their necks at 'er. But only one was so brave as to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er."

"How do computers measure pain? Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)"

"Valve hasn't won yet They're not **tri**-umphant"

"I bet nobody noticed Superman flying around at first, so Clark just started pointing out every bird and plane until it caught on"