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Joke of the Day

"If you're American going into the bathroom and American coming out of the bathroom... What are you in the bathroom? European"

"When no one stars a tweet, I tell myself it was probably appreciated by hundreds of shy people."

"Q: Why did the ox fall down the hill? A: It was an oxident."

"What do you get when you eat a bunch of uranium? Atomic ache"

"On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say ""the food"" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon."

"Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the toilet? Because the 'p' is silent."

"It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough."

"Why can't the average white girl pass Math? Because she can't even."

"Why did the Smackhead kick the habit? He didn't like nuns."

"They say that 5 in 3 people are bad at fractions. Don't even get me started on the other half."