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Joke of the Day

"Number 1 best thing about waterparks: boobs. I'm sure there's a number 2 best thing, but #1 has got me pretty occupied at the moment."

"Definition of a really good friend. What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend? A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!"

"what do you call a Kentucky farm girl who can run faster than her dad? A Virgin"

"#feelthebern As a Jew I'm not sure Bernie is allowed to say that"

"What is the best Vitamin for friendship? B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency."

"The guy behind me at the grocery store only had energy drinks, root beer & gummie lifesavers, so I asked how far into assassins creed he was"

"Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector. A1: Put you fingers in your ears and start stamping the ground with your foot."

"My girlfriend tried to tell me an abuse joke But I beat her to the punch"

"What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it."

"The best part about Christmas Eve is when grandma gets drunk and tries to fight everyone."